- Salma Gamal -
The loud voices of her friends were cleaving her mind. She took a quick look at her watch. It is 07:30 PM, which means that it isn't time to go home, but she is just bored from her sick-minded friends. She always belittled their talks. Boys! How to empress boys? How to fall in love with boys?! How to get a boy's attention?! When should I get married? How my life will be when I'm married?! And just more crap!
She apologized to her friends and gave them an excuse, which they knew was a made-up one. She grabbed her bag quickly and went down to the street, as if she was released from prison.
As she walked back to her home, she remembered her friend's talk; their obsession with love, marriage, and looks. She frowned as their words were on repeat in her mind. In a sudden, she felt uneasy and thought of going home from her secret route. The simply magnificent route by the canal. She hurried to her secret place, as if it is what will rescue her from her thoughts. Finally she was there; the fresh air tackled her face and made her mind finally at peace. She kept walking as she was staring to the serene blue water and the still boats.
Thoughts started to invade her mind again, what in the world causes people to love attachments? Why should she have a soul mate? Why are the lives of all people centred on marriage and love?!
She hated how most people call her complicated because of her ideas, but actually they are the ones destroying their dreams with their own hands...She imagined herself falling in love, getting engaged then married, having children. Abruptly, she stopped the scenario going in her mind and made a pledge to herself that she will never restrict her soul and dreams by sharing them with someone under the name of love.
She never knew or felt why love is essential. Instead, she felt that love is insecurity. If the universe is constantly changing so as everything around us, then what would make love eternal? The answer is that it isn't till forever. The dreamy love birds will turn into some drained souls with a void life and nothing to stand for.
Girls are relying on a wall of impossible wishes and boys are just deceitful. Yes, she might be complex as all people claim! But it is simply because she believes in her independence and solitude. She had seen mothers losing their jobs and living a typically dull repeated life for the sake of their children. She had seen many suffering girls who were deceived by so-called "Dream Boys". She had seen silly boys trying to date two girls at the same time, thinking it is something outstanding. she had witnessed fathers turning into monsters because they relied too much on love. She has seen lost single mothers who got the greatest pranks that turned their passing days to one grand miserable life!
Yeah she knows love has a very bright and beautiful side, but it is ephemeral; It will never last. She is a girl, with strong and thriving feelings so a little part of her wants to fall in love, but the other big one always leads her to belittle it.
Her mind was just growing massive out of her constant thinking. She stopped walking, stopped thinking and stood still in front of the stunning nature that is in front of her eyes. She was relieved for a second, and then she started looking around her. She noticed an old woman eating ice cream and her husband was by her side. The woman was smiling widely as she gave her husband a lick of her ice cream while his eyes revealed how happy he is to be with her.
She kept examining them, smiled, and then thought that there is always something magical about marriage and love she would never encounter...She may be harsh, complex, offensive, but most importantly she is desperate and always fearful that her affectionate heart might be broken one day.
She turned around and hurried back to her home before her heinous thoughts return again and cage her with her only odd wish...to fall in love.